"If a breakup makes you closer to your family, friends, work and God, it means that your previous partner is not what God sent to be your life partner. His/her job is done. Thank him/her, don't hate."

If you think that I look funny when I laughed, you should see and hear for yourself my laughter. Like I always tell my friends, my laughter can be heard miles away, explain why guys are afraid to approach me. Haha

Gambar hiasan

Taken during his birthday bash back in May. Ain't he awesome?!

Because looking at the waves is very calming.

Only know you love her when you let her go"

You know how people always say that "you never appreciate the one you love, until they are gone"? I guess it's just in our humble human form that God created, that we only appreciate people once they're gone. Best examples?

TAN SRI P.RAMLEE

Before succumbed to a heart attack which actually lead to his death, Tan Sri P.Ramlee was vilified, and humiliated. People kept saying that his artwork is no longer relevant. And look at our film industry today. I can say, and I believe others too will agree with me, that nobody can produce a film half as good as
P.Ramlee did.

AMY WINEHOUSE

She had been battling with alcohol and substance abuse for quite some time. Even made a song about refusing to go to rehab because she thought she was fine. Ironically, that was how she died, at a very young age of 27. Only then, people kept saying how we need more talented people like her.

MICHAEL JACKSON

Need I say more about him? With the many controversies surrounding him before his death, with people kept misjudge him for many reasons, suddenly, on June 25th 2009, when he passed away, everyone is claiming that they are his fans. I know my twelve-year-old cousin admitted to this (she was only eight at the time). If you are his true fan, where were you when he was misjudged? Where were you when people said so many bad things about him?

Those people I've chosen are only just a few people that are only appreciated when they are gone. We don't have to look far though. How about our love ones? Our mother, father, grandparents, siblings. Spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends even. Did you take them for granted, or do you only appreciate them only when they are gone? Listen to the song above, understand the meaning. 

And once you do, tell your love ones how much you appreciate them,

in any ways you can. 

Even a small gesture will mean so much to them.

Don't wait till they are gone then you say that you

appreciate them.

Don't be like this dude in this song.

Reunited with Victoria and Martina in Miri, and here I am still missing them. How is this possible, I have yet to understand.

"What if, what if I'm the one for you, and you are the one for me? What if?"

Even the intro makes you think of that. Because it made me think.



Back to what I've said earlier, perhaps my "what ifs" were unanswered because it's just not the right time for me yet. And maybe God is trying to say, "Marcella, that is not what I want for you." And during those "unanswered" period, I did some reflections upon the things that I wished and the strength that I had at that moment. I come to conclude that at all those moments, I wasn't ready for it, emotionally. So I trust God and just live day to day without having to worry about it. And eventually, my "what ifs" are answered, slowly, but at least by that time, I was already prepared for it and somehow feel nothing. Imagine if the "what ifs" were to be answered then and there, I guess I would be in a very bad emotional train wreck than I was after my last relationship ended.


So to conclude this heavily emotional post (not that my other posts are not emotional), always remember that:

"Anything could happen, anything could happen, anything could happen, anything could happen, anything could happen....."

Are you not tired singing to that over and over again? I know I'll be out of breath lah.

"Years ago, I was watching in the tele (television), during a Micheal Jackson concert, the lights were exactly like this (at Croke Park). And I told my mother, 'mum, this will be me someday'. And it finally come true..."

This was the crowd during the farewell concert. Picture courtesy of Google Image.

Because sometimes, a song can express my feelings in so many ways that I couldn't.




Aku bukan lemah tanpa cinta
Hanya tidak mampu sendiri tanpanya
Biarkan aku menangis kerna derita

Dia hadir mengubatkan rindu
Mengajarkan aku erti cinta
Namun semua tidak seindah ku sangka

( Chorus )
Dialah yang aku inginkan
Dia cinta yang kudambakan
Namun semua hanya tinggal mimpi
Terpisahnya cinta

Aku harus melupakannya
Aku harus memadam rasa
Namun hati tidak pernah mampu
Melepas kau pergi

( Ulang chorus )

Setelah sedar dari mimpi
Harus ku terus hidup tanpamu
Kini ku pasrah segalanya
Tentang cinta

1. Our handlers, Diana and Felicia are two coolest people I've ever met! They're not stingy with whatever knowledge they know and they're gorgeous. Yes, I just had to say that. No extra points for that.
2. Went to airport to go to Prudential's booth as today and tomorrow will be the last two days that they will be there. We were asked to do market survey, and I tell you, approaching people, to borrow a bit of their time in order to do market survey, is not easy. Some even might have an impression that we're selling products when we are only interns. Jeez people. But yeah, each day, my respect towards these people (the people who are in Prudential) grows more and more. 
3. Went to Summer mall that was just opened a few days ago with Achis. And like CityOne Metrojaya, the basement area was dusty, the car parks are flooded with water, and of course, not many stores are open yet. Although, there's Starbucks, Secret Recipe, Baskin Robbins(!) and oh, my favourite, Ding Tea. Lol. Well, they are a lot more actually but I just can't mention them all here. Bahagia lah student Unimas lepas ni....

How Summer shopping mall looks like. Photo courtesy of Google Image.

1. I have not enough sleep. In semester 3 and 4, we have morning classes, and since I stayed at home and not in college, I have to drive to campus. With assignments and such that keep most students awake at night, explains why I don't have enough sleep. There were even times that I actually didn't sleep. I kid you not. So, when things don't go my way, I snapped. Luckily, my friends know not to push my buttons when I don't have enough sleep (because I usually warned them first. Haha). Usually, I brought coffee to class to keep me awake but still, my patience will be tested even if I drink coffee. I was fooled by Pretty Little Liars, especially Hanna who always brings coffee when she had not enough sleep. Haha.
2. That time of the month. This is usually when I snapped the worst. PMS. Need I explain more?

Confession #154
Every day, this page gets more interesting. Well, this is my confession. 

Not too long ago, I was close to this guy. At the time, I just broke up with my boyfriend. And because I was not used to being single, and he was among the people who knew about this break up earlier than rest of my friends, so we got close. We text each other every other day, and sometimes hangout together. Little by little, I begin to forget the pain that my ex boyfriend gave to me. I mean, I never thought I will be happy after our relationship ends because I loved him so much I couldn't see myself with someone else. Anyways, back to this guy. We got close, and he treats me good. Sometimes, I go out with him and his friends, but yet he's still good to me. In short, I can say that he's a gentleman. He knows my best friend as well, and even though he never met her, surprisingly he can talk to her like he known her for ages (my ex boyfriend is not like that. He doesn't make a conversation if he doesn't know that person well, even though he knows that person is my friend, acquaintance etc). And somewhere between our laughs and our silly fight, I fell in love. For a while, I was happy. We were happy. Or at least I thought we were.

Until the new semester arrived.

Somehow, somewhere, we drifted apart. We stop texting each other, and whenever we see each other on campus, it's as if we're strangers again. I did asked him about this, about how we drift apart. But all he said was "I was busy. You don't know what it's like to be me. You and I of different faculty, how would I expect you to understand?"

I thought he was serious when he befriended me, became the person who lend his shoulder for me to cry on. Maybe I was wrong to think of that. I don't know. But people said, if a guy really wants you in his life, he will work hard to be in yours, despite of how BUSY he is with assignments, projects etc. Obviously he is not, but I was blind to see that. And despite of what my close friends and my best friend told me, to move on, I did not. I waited, and waited. But nothing happened. There were only awkward interactions.

After a while, I decided to move on, because I don't see the point of waiting anymore. Plus, from what I heard, he has a girlfriend now. Hearsay, it can be right, or wrong. I don't know. Nevertheless, I choose to move on, despite how hard it is. The first few months was hard, but eventually, I learnt that I can live without him. Although, there are times that I almost (ALMOST) look for him whenever I'm sad, or happy, or angry (because that's what makes us closer then), but I manage to come to my senses that he's beyond my reach now. I had live without him before, and I know I can live without him now. I wish him all the best, and I hope that somehow, he wishes the best for me too.

Maybe it was my fault, for being too afraid to let him know about my feelings so here I am now, living with that consequences. I am a big believer of love. Everyone deserves to love, and to be love. I look all around me, those who enter Unimas with me who are single/taken but relationship failed halfway down the road are now happily taken, it actually makes me happy. And it also makes me wonder, will I have that too?

Perhaps, only God can answer that question.

Yesterday....
All my trouble seems so far away.
Now it is as though they're here to stay,
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly....
I'm not half the girl I used to be.
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh yesterday came suddenly.

Why he had to go I don't know, he wouldn't say.
I said something wrong now I long for yesterday,.....

Yesterday.....
Love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away, 
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Why he had to go I don't know, he wouldn't say.
I said something wrong now I long for yesterday,.....

Yesterday.....
Love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away, 
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Mmmmm mmmmm mmmm mmmm.