C'est La Vie

Last night, I had a dream that I broke my tooth. It was real scaree for I thought it was real. I mean, I am only 21 and I lose my tooth? I do eat sugary stuff but not so much because I try to control the intake as on my paternal side there are some family members who are diabetic. Even my dearest grandmother is a diabetic. So of course I feel that I should take control of what I eat even though I am young.

Anyways, back to my dream. In that dream, I was somewhere in a big shopping mall (which I have no idea where). I don't remember who I was with at that time, but I remembered that I was very happy at that time because, come on. A girl in a big shopping mall; it feels like being in heaven (although shopping mall is nowhere near heaven when you come to think of it).

When I was browsing through the handbag section, out of the sudden my mouth bleeds. Then when I stick my tongue out, I can feel my front tooth (the lower part) is jiggling. I was a bit scared but I thought it was just an illusion. Then, I jiggle my tooth over and over again and out of the sudden *POOF*, MY TOOTH FELL DOWN! And when I finally realized that it was indeed very real, that it is not an illusion, I started to broke down and cry. A few minutes later, I woke up.

It was indeed a very scary dream because I had never dreamt of it before. As I was curious of what the dream meant, I decided to Google it and I had found the best (maybe not the best, but is enough to answer my curiosity) meaning of dreaming about broken teeth.

Broken Teeth
Dreaming of broken teeth is horrible and most people who have this dream do not want to experience it again because it feels just like a bad nightmare. When you get a dream like this it means something in your life needs more attention and focus on the main issue before it falls apart. Are you trying to fix something that seems broken? Or you or your relationship with somebody close with you needs repair. Try and remember all the details in your dream to help you understand why our teeth are broken. The person breaking your teeth can help you learn that you and that person need to deal with fixing the issue that is unresolved.

Source: Dream Dictionary.org

According to the definition above, I should pay more attention and focus on something (studies maybe?) before it goes wrong. If that is the case, I know that I am doing my best to be more studious for this semester. I aim to do better for this semester (doesn't everyone?) so that I can actually get a 3 pointer average for the cumulative at the end of the second year. In doing so, I try set some time; a few hours at night before I go to bed to do some reading before I enter the class and so far it is great as I can understand what basically the lecturer is talking about although I am half asleep in the lecture (i.e. today's Statistics class). I don't want to touch on the relationship part as I am single. And my relationship with my friends and also family are going great so I don't think it is relevant.

However, I also read that in the Chinese perspective of a broken tooth dream, it means that I am not telling the truth to people. It got me thinking again, but I stopped myself because I am not lying to anyone. Most certainly to myself. I am way over past the "what ifs" period, I am not hoping when it comes to that certain someone I think I am falling for (but I will admit that, yes, I do have feelings for him), so I am therefore not lying to myself. Perhaps I should disregard this as well? As Nelly said in his song,

So maybe, I should just live my life as normal as possible and take whatever the meaning that was given for the dream that I had as a lesson in my daily life. Life is full of give and take you know? You lose some, you gain some. So don't fret about your life so much, and appreciate whatever that comes your way. Everything that happens are a blessing in disguise, with or without you realizing it. Carpe diem. Okay, I think I rant enough already. It's 15 minutes to noon and I'm still waiting for Elly to finish her class then off to lunch it is. Have a good week ahead everyone!

Love,

Marcy.

Xoxo.

CONVERSATION

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CONVERSATION

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CONVERSATION

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CONVERSATION

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CONVERSATION

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CONVERSATION

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CONVERSATION

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*Those who know me, upon reading this post, don't assume that I am missing him. I am not. This is just an expression from deep down of my broken heart.*

I have many wishes. All those wishes were made when I was still with you. Here goes the long wishes that I had made when I was with you; and you promised me that you will be there when it happened.

To go to the beach in 2010 with you. I waited for a year for you to fulfill that wish. However, I ended up going to the beach with Aida and Elly, in April 2011, after the long wait.

You had always wanted to go to Bau, my mother's hometown. And I was more than gladly to be your tour guide lady. On the other hand, I ended up bringing a group of people to Bau, sight seeing. And they are my friends, my coursemates.

I have always wanted to ride on perahu penambang at Waterfront, just to know how it feels like. When I finally managed to do that, I ended up riding it with Matthew and Bell.

You were the one who always wants to see the sunset, with me, at the beach. I saw the sunset, though it may not be at the beach, but it was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen before.

And guess who I get to watch that sunset with?

Hany sayang.

I had always wanted to go out at night, strolling, wherever it may be. As before this I was still studying in Form 6, I had a curfew. But when I entered varsity, you don't fancy night strolling anymore. You fancy something else. Nevertheless, I go along with you because I love you. I didn't know I actually miss a lot during those two and a half years. Guess what? I finally went out at night. Heck, I entered an Iban pub once just to see an Iban band sing. It doesn't sound like me, I know. But that is life. It brings me to unexpected places, which in the end gives me good memories that are here to stay.

Finally I get to see Waterfront at night. And I even watch street buskers serenading. I owe this to Rono.

I had always wanted to get to know your family. But you kept delaying it, for reasons I am not sure of. I can't remember what they were, but they were all bullshit. You say your family is not perfect, but then again, so is my family. They are not perfect, but you have met my grandfather. You have met my aunt. I have only met your aunt once, and went to your family gathering once. Little did I know it would be my last. Yet, I am glad I had met some of them. They are not like what you had told me. I still interacted with your cousins via Twitter, and never one second I regret about it.

Last year, you told me you want to celebrate my 21st birthday as you feel that it is a very special day for me. Indeed it is. And turning 21 makes it even more special for me. However two weeks before my birthday, you broke my heart into millions of pieces. Regardless, I managed to celebrate my 21st birthday.

With my twin. Who happens to be my best friend too. You dig?

That was my old phone, given by you 2 years ago. Although it may be second hand, I did not mind because I know you bought it with your own money, and I appreciate it so much. With the emergence of Blackberries and iPhones and such, both of us wanted to upgrade to a better phone. You wanted Blackberry, I wanted a touch screen, android phone (or Windows phone). My phone ended up dying on my hands a few months ago, and I decided to get a new phone. Meet my baby, Khloe J.

She took clearer photos of me.

She is candy pink.

Actually, I have so many more wishes to put here, but it is a very long list and I don't want to make myself miserable thinking about it *not that I am feeling miserable right now*. I want to make a few conclusions here by the way. That after you left,