Never underestimate the power of a woman's curiousity to find out on things. This conversation proves it:


Me: He drives a Myvi kan?
Sonia: Yes. *smiling*
Me: He drives a WHITE Myvi kan?
Sonia: Yes. How do you know?
Me: Sonia, never underestimate the power of a woman's curiousity. Especially if her name is Marcella. If I could, sampai ke lubang cacing pun I will go and look for it.
Sonia: Hahahaha.

posted from Bloggeroid

So I was having my lunch alone today *insert the foreveralone.jpeg image here* at KFC because I was craving. Damn period make the hormones go crazy and crave for food.

As I was seated at my seat, there was this family, consist of a mother, daughter and grandmother seated across my table. The girl was holding a monopod, trying to take a selfie with her grandmother who is busy eating the KFC chicken. My first thought, "girls, selfie and monopod. What else is new?" And I continued eating. But after a while, *cue in fifteen minutes later*, this girl is still taking selfie, from different angles. My second thought, "perlu kah show ngan dunia you eat at KFC? KFC jer pun." And continued eating.

I am not sure they were speaking in what languange, but my wild guess was they were talking in Orang Ulu language. I heard the mother did said something to the daughter, maybe not to selfie too much and eat her food. I guess la.

Half an hour passed, and the girl was still holding her monopod, taking God knows how many selfie she took. By that time, I can't help myself but to give dirty look because I was annoyed at the girl hahaha sorry I can't help myself. I mean, can't you just be in the moment and live your life? Perlu kah every few seconds selfie? That's the problem with today's generation; eveything also want to document online. Pergi jamban pun mok selfie. Goodness gracious. Maybe I sound like an old soul, but there are things that you should keep to yourself. And that is what you call PRIVACY.

Young kids, if you don't know what's the meaning of "PRIVACY", look it up in the dictionary. And another thing, don't selfie too much in the public. Do you know how ridiculous it looks?




Nah. Belanja satu selfie. Hahaha.

For the past few weeks, 

I tried to spend at least five minutes of my morning (while getting ready for office) by saying my morning prayer. 

I was lucky, because I was a born and bred a Catholic, unlike so many people out there who were only baptized later in their life to be a Catholic. 

However, I can say that my relationship with God, is somewhat a love-hate relationship. 

I know it sounded, wrong. 

But who am I to deny, and claimed that my relationship with God is a smooth sailing one. 

I am only human.

And because of the love-hate relationship, I can say that there are times that I felt that God purposely test me, especially when it comes to the matter of the heart. 

As I had always said to the best friend, "I believe that God is trolling with me. He is toying with my feelings. I get that He wants to teach me a lesson, but must it be this way? By trolling me, toying my feelings away?"

And that is why,most of the time, I find myself only praying when I am in need (or at least I think I needed something ), OR, when I am in church. 

Other than that, I never took the time.in the day to actually sit down and really have some 'private conversation ' with God. 

*saying what I'm grateful by the end of the day is entirely a different thing though. Don't get me wrong here, now. *

However, lately I found myself to actually enjoy having a few minutes quiet time, alone time to myself.

Without the clearly loud sound from my phone speaker, playing the phone's playlist. 

Every day, I took 5 minutes out of my time to actually pray to God. 

And I somehow find that peace that I have never felt before. 

Something that I cannot explain to you people out there, until you experienced it for yourself. 

Yes, I would lie if I say that I don't have problem(s) in life. 

Tell me someone who doesn't have a problem. I would like to sit down and talk to them, and ask them how do they live life without a problem. 

However, I realized that somehow my problems seems so small, and God is still there for me, even though if I screw up. 

Even if I only pray to him once a week prior to this, he still accepts me as His child, with  no condition. 

A few weeks ago, 

I was put into a situation that increases my curiosity, kept wondering of what went wrong. 

The list goes on and on. 

And yes, it gets tiring sometimes. 

It is as if, God is testing my patience again, with a quite a similar event. 

So the day before, I actually Google-d on a prayer to increase my patience. 

I found the prayer(s), and then some. 

I found this one particular article, and I remembered it saying, "never pray to God asking Him to give you patience. God will give you a situation where you will be forced to be patient. "

I was taken aback at this article, but because I was too sleepy to continue, I just stopped at the article. 

Then, this morning happen. 

I was sitting down, in front of the mirror, as usual, contemplating on whether I should buy my BB cream replacement today or either wise. 

Somehow, I remembered about this particular person, and I felt a bit bitter because of what's happening (more like what's NOT happening) between us. 

And then, suddenly, it hits me. 

Like a thunder. 

This feeling, it feels like deja vu all over again. 

But this situation was with another person, for how many years ago. 

Times may had changed; people come and go in my life. 

But apparently, this situation feels too familiar to be true. 

And then, I remembered this particular photo that I saw on Twitter. 

And it hits me again. 

So I asked myself, "why do I feel like I'm beginning to face in the same situation all over again?" 

And it hits me, the article from the previous night. 

"Never pray to God asking him to give you patience. God will give you a situation where you will be forced to be patient. "

And then I realized, 

I've been asking God the wrong way. 

No wonder the more I asked God to give me extra patience, He gave me a situation which forces me to somehow compromise, to be patient while finding my way out of it/overcoming it. 

I realized that God is making me patient, by throwing me a situation that He knows forces me to learn the hard way. 

And I realized that, my faith is still not as strong because I asked Him to keep me near this person, just because I feel that I am ready. 

Because I thought that, in the law of attraction, it says that, 

"Ask from the Universe what you want, believe that it is already yours, and you will receive it." 

And I will receive it, by constantly reminded God and the Universe of what I want. 

How wrong I was. 

And praying to God to open up the other person's heart, when clearly, the other person is still not ready to, also doesn't determine that their heart will melt like an ice, just like that. 

Somehow, it drives them even more away from you. 

If not, farther. 

Until the moment you try to reconnect with them, or your life paths give you both the chance to cross paths again in life, then you will realized, it will not be the same as before.

Perhaps, sometimes it is not meant to be. 

But also, because of your eagerness to move ahead of God, He makes sure you learned your lesson. 

And if you didn't, he will repeat the same situation, over and over and over again, until you realize that sometimes, it is not them. 

Sometimes, 

IT IS YOU. 

nowplaying: Falling Slowly - Chester See feat Savannah Outen

I am a curious person.

A very, curious person.

Plus the fact that I can think of so many things at one time,

makes that fact even scarier sometimes.

I don't know about you.

But have you ever met someone,

and somehow, 

the more you talk to the person,

the more you realize that you want to get to know about them even more?

You want to know what makes them happy;

who is the most important person in their life;

what are their innermost secret that they have never told anyone.

You want to know it all.

Then, you get to know them a little bit more,

because they are willing to tell you a little bit more than what you have known before.

And after that, 

you find yourself getting even more excited to know about them more.

But somehow, the other person somewhat got cold feet.

Or so it seems.

Perhaps it was due to their past, that they are scared to reveal a little bit more.

Yesterday, I had a date with Mel. Our plan was supposed to be simple:

• Meet up at church (St Dominic, Taman Tunku)
• Go to Beach Republic.

But when I entered inside, it was the most beautiful church I've ever been to in Miri. 

With the beautiful wooden pew, and the way the wooden pew is placed, I was just at awe.

And on that moment, somehow, I felt at home.

Don't get me wrong.

I've been to St Joseph Cathedral, Carmelite chapel and also Church of  Mater Dei, Lutong.

But for some weird reason, I feel a bit like an outsider. 

Well, except for Mater Dei.

Mater Dei reminded me of Blessed Sacrement Church, BDC.

But St Dominic's, the moment I stepped inside the church, I feel like I am home.

Until I realized, that the arrangements of the wooden pew benches is quite similar to St Mark's church, Batu Kawah.

The one that I always go to whenever I'm back in Kuching.

Almost shed a tear when I realized that fact.

The fact that I can't go back anytime soon.

The fact that I actually do miss home.

But nevertheless, I am happy because I get to go to church, *and it makes me feels like home some more!*, and I get to spend time with Mel, outside of office. 

Told papa about it, and he said that it's good as the church reminds me of home (since he is at home at the time. Jealous much). 

The best part about the mass, 

is that the priest reminds me of Father Albert, who is also a foreign priest. I like how he deliver his sermon.

He even thought the congregations how to sing Our Father.

How special.

It's quite rare to find a priest is willing to actually teach the congregations to sing Our Father. 

In short, I can say,

I FEEL LIKE HOME AT THE DURATION OF ONE HOUR

despite the fact that I was lost earlier. 

After I send my selfie, suddenly everyone posted their selfie in the chatroom. And then, it got me thinking, "why don't I compile all the pictures and post it on Instagram. So I did. The next thing I realized, 

IT'S MY 500th POST! 

The kumangs mean a lot to me. So to realized that I posted something meaningful, just as what I wanted earlier, just makes me believe in Law of Attraction even more. 

So yeah. That's my update for now. Will update when I.... ermmm... update. Haha.

nowplaying: Up - Olly Murs feat Demi Lovato

I really count my blessings, every single day.

Without fail before I sleep, I will always thank God for whatever that's happened 

during the day.

Be it a colleague of mine managed to protect a life, or someone's life is change because of me (somehow);

even the smallest thing such as a beautiful weather or getting to eat one chocolate bar 

(yup, that is how obsessed I am with chocolates)

And you know what?

I forgot the last time I feel so emotional.

I am a very emotional person;

this blog is indeed the proof of it. 

Nowadays, when I read back the archives of my blog (as early as 2012),

there are times that I actually cringed and I asked myself,

"WHY ON EARTH DID I WROTE ALL THOSE?"

"OMG YOU ONE EMOTIONAL WOMAN!!!"

*insert the laughing-until-tears-come-out emoji here*

nowplaying: Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding

God doesn't always give you what you WANT, 

as He gives you what you NEED.

The same applies to people.

God doesn't always give you WHO you WANT, 

but He gives you WHO you NEED.

Because the people you want sometimes can be the people who destroy you,

and the people whom you never thought in a billion years you will want them;

are the people who actually helps you and builds you to be a better person.

Life is simple;

we humans tend to complicate things.

And in life, we have many choices.

What is right for me may not be a right choice for another person,

and vice versa.

Before you start moping about how miserable your life is,

remember, that it is a choice that you make yesterday influences whatever you feel today.

So before you feel like judging someone for making an action,

think.

There must be a reason behind the action made.

Try and imagine yourself in their position;

would you do it differently if you were to put in the same situation as them?

Or you ended up doing the same thing?

THINK.

Just take a second and THINK.

Be a good listener, have empathy towards another person, be positive.

Believe that you will receive in abundance, and you already received what you really want.