*Those who know me, upon reading this post, don't assume that I am missing him. I am not. This is just an expression from deep down of my broken heart.*

I have many wishes. All those wishes were made when I was still with you. Here goes the long wishes that I had made when I was with you; and you promised me that you will be there when it happened.

  • To go to the beach in 2010 with you. I waited for a year for you to fulfill that wish. However, I ended up going to the beach with Aida and Elly, in April 2011, after the long wait.

  • You had always wanted to go to Bau, my mother's hometown. And I was more than gladly to be your tour guide lady. On the other hand, I ended up bringing a group of people to Bau, sight seeing. And they are my friends, my coursemates. 

  • I have always wanted to ride on perahu penambang at Waterfront, just to know how it feels like. When I finally managed to do that, I ended up riding it with Matthew and Bell.

  • You were the one who always wants to see the sunset, with me, at the beach. I saw the sunset, though it may not be at the beach, but it was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen before. 

And guess who I get to watch that sunset with?

Hany sayang. 

  • I had always wanted to go out at night, strolling, wherever it may be. As before this I was still studying in Form 6, I had a curfew. But when I entered varsity, you don't fancy night strolling anymore. You fancy something else. Nevertheless, I go along with you because I love you. I didn't know I actually miss a lot during those two and a half years. Guess what? I finally went out at night. Heck, I entered an Iban pub once just to see an Iban band sing. It doesn't sound like me, I know. But that is life. It brings me to unexpected places, which in the end gives me good memories that are here to stay. 
Finally I get to see Waterfront at night. And I even watch street buskers serenading. I owe this to Rono.

  • I had always wanted to get to know your family. But you kept delaying it, for reasons I am not sure of. I can't remember what they were, but they were all bullshit. You say your family is not perfect, but then again, so is my family. They are not perfect, but you have met my grandfather. You have met my aunt. I have only met your aunt once, and went to your family gathering once. Little did I know it would be my last. Yet, I am glad I had met some of them. They are not like what you had told me. I still interacted with your cousins via Twitter, and never one second I regret about it.

  • Last year, you told me you want to celebrate my 21st birthday as you feel that it is a very special day for me. Indeed it is. And turning 21 makes it even more special for me. However two weeks before my birthday, you broke my heart into millions of pieces. Regardless, I managed to celebrate my 21st birthday.

With my twin. Who happens to be my best friend too. You dig?

  • That was my old phone, given by you 2 years ago. Although it may be second hand, I did not mind because I know you bought it with your own money, and I appreciate it so much. With the emergence of Blackberries and iPhones and such, both of us wanted to upgrade to a better phone. You wanted Blackberry, I wanted a touch screen, android phone (or Windows phone). My phone ended up dying on my hands a few months ago, and I decided to get a new phone. Meet my baby, Khloe J. 
She took clearer photos of me. 

She is candy pink. 

Actually, I have so many more wishes to put here, but it is a very long list and I don't want to make myself miserable thinking about it *not that I am feeling miserable right now*. I want to make a few conclusions here by the way. That after you left, 

Life still goes on well for me.

I think this is the biggest slap in your face. It should be. You know why?

So for now, carpe diem is definitely my motto that I intend to live on. Simply because,

Because I know it will get better in time. 




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