Who are you calling 'fatty', FATTY?

I know.

The title sounds a bit, angry. Because I am, angry. And upset. And annoyed. And baffled.

Idk if it's an Asian thing, but when it comes to meeting someone you only meet once a year *hint: That grandaunt/aunt* *coughs blood*, among the first thing they will say is,

"Apahal kau makin gemuk?" Or may I translate, why are you fat?

Because  I just recently got that.

I admit, this year, I've been slacking on my jogging and piloxing. And I started to eat fast food (cue in McDonalds McChicken burger here. Oh, did I mentioned I buy their breakfast too?) when last year I diligently eat oat in the morning, snack at 10 am, always remembering my fruits (no wonder lah I got constipatipn. I've forgotten my fruits!). My tea time is either Tong Garden peanuts, or it can be a slice of honeydew. And at night, I just eat soup or yoghurt. And to top that, my jogging is twice a week and piloxing once a week, 3 times in a month.

Sorry, I digress. But I promise you, I'm getting to my point.

Again, Idk if it's an Asian thing, or Malaysian thing for that matter, whereby whenever somebody is trying to make an improvement in their life, people will go, "You wanna slim down? Aiya no need lah. Malaysian food too nice to slim down," or, "It's the Gawai/Raya/CNY/Christmas bah. Pahal mok diet? Setaun sekali kita celebrate apa?" Then, when people are enjoying their food, there will be people come and say, "don't eat too much. Later you (become) fat. Who wants to marry you?"

No wonder so many kids (adolescents and adults(!) as well) grew up thinking they can't do this, they can't do that; if you do this you'll wind up like that fella, this and that. I get that, a lot. And I still get that until today. And because of this kind of judgment, many children wind up afraid being a disappointment to their family because they don't want to wind up like that cousin/uncle/aunty who is just feeding of parents money.

Sorry. Digressing again.

Back to the "fat" part. Again, it's actually similar to what I've mentioned  in the previous paragraph. Whereby when a person takes an initiative to lead a healthy lifestyle (with a side of happiness in terms of enjoying good food once in a while), some people just had to sneer at their effort. "Oh really? You go exercise? But why are you still fat?" *sigh*

I wish there's a pill somewhere, somehow, that I can eat it, it can make my fats all go away. Or I donate my fats to skinny people who wants to have a bit of flesh. But in reality, there's no such thing. In the end of the day, it's the willpower that is the most important. Despite of doing the most advance exercise exist in the world, if you have no willpower (when it comes to choices of food, especially), there will be reduce in weight, but it will plateau somehow.

The previous paragraph, serves as my own reminder on my active lifestyle journey. To be honest, it was not easy. It is still not easy now, because I can feel the heaviness when I started to increase my speed when I jogged (how can I not feel it? When I 'quiver' whenever I see french fries and started to eat more than half of it - padahal sharing with the boyfriend hahaha). And it gets harder because I'm very petite, compared to most of the people around me. I'm only 4 feet 8 (or 9, somewhere there lah. But definitely not 5 feet), so ANY weight gain, even if it's only 500 grams, people can actually see it. It's also not helping that my metabolism is not as good as it was when I was 17, where I can eat two bowls of kolok mee and I'm still 45kg. You know what's also not helping? When people surround you keep saying "you're fat", despite of the actions that you've done; as different people has different progress.

I know, that in the end of the day, it is your self love that makes one feel happy, regardless of their shape and size, and also the number that appears in their weight scale. But in the end of the day, we are only human. Not everyday I can feel so positive. There are days that I feel down too (and it gets worst if it's before THAT time of the month). Therefore, giving support to one another is the most important key when it comes to someone's journey of weight loss. Empower the poeple who are in their weight loss journey or heading towards healthy lifestyle. Respect their decision, especially when it comes to food selection. If they choose to decline your ayam masak lemak because they are on a strict diet, let them be. Don't force (this is the thing about Iban elderly people. No means no, but yet, still insist. And when we stick to our decision, we are called RUDE. I get this a lot, but honestly, I don't care. I have my own principle and I'm going to stick to it) if one doesn't want to eat it. And for the people who are in the same boat as I am, always remember this,

I will continue to do what I can because I am not who I used to be. Surprisingly, I enjoyed jogging, I enjoyed piloxing, and despite of the pain after those floor works after piloxing, I still want to do more. Sometimes, I even can't wait for it the days to come to Wednesday, cz that's the day that I do piloxing. For the rest of you out there who are also battling the same battle, if you feel down, always remember where you are now, and move forward. Don't go backwards just because someone said a snotty remark to you. You can't control what comes out of their mouth; you can only control your reaction. I'm still learning this too reacting part too; so don't worry, you are not alone.


1 comments darling:

  1. You know that 'Shape Of You' song? it's a song to celebrate fat people. Totally awesome song. Round is shape. :-) So don't worry about judgmental people or people who can't control their motormouths, we are in a good happy place when we accept ourselves. Hi Marcy! I am back!


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