As cliche' as that sound, it is true. Most of the time, when things happen, we will always ask "why me?" or "did I do anything wrong?", or any other questions which may lead to this two words,
These two words, when it is on its own, it does not give any much meaning. But when combine these two words together, it creates such a strong meaning. It can make you think of the things that may or may not happen, it can make you delusional. It can also haunt you for life.
I know this because I had many moments of "what ifs" for the past few years. I've been constantly asking myself, "what if this is it?" and "what if it won't work?" and "what if he's the one?" and it goes on and on. I've got to say, I got tired in the end asking those "what ifs" because somehow, whatever questions I asked it usually got unanswered. I mean, if you ask those "what ifs" and it goes unanswered, wouldn't you feel tired? Just listen to this song by Jason Derulo, What If.
"What if, what if I'm the one for you, and you are the one for me? What if?"
Even the intro makes you think of that. Because it made me think.
Back to what I've said earlier, perhaps my "what ifs" were unanswered because it's just not the right time for me yet. And maybe God is trying to say, "Marcella, that is not what I want for you." And during those "unanswered" period, I did some reflections upon the things that I wished and the strength that I had at that moment. I come to conclude that at all those moments, I wasn't ready for it, emotionally. So I trust God and just live day to day without having to worry about it. And eventually, my "what ifs" are answered, slowly, but at least by that time, I was already prepared for it and somehow feel nothing. Imagine if the "what ifs" were to be answered then and there, I guess I would be in a very bad emotional train wreck than I was after my last relationship ended.
So to conclude this heavily emotional post (
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