Letting Go

nowplaying: Jealous - Labrinth

I have the tendency to hold on to some people longer than I should be; especially when they moved on earlier than I do. I finally grasps the idea of some people come into your life only for a season, and that when suddenly they disappeared from your life, it really means that they can't follow you to the next level where God wants to bring you.

So last night, that happened. And just earlier yesterday, I had a conversation with Sonia about this particular bracelet was given to me by one person who is no longer in my life as of now. I told her that this person no longer keeps the picture of him surprising me for my belated birthday earlier this year in his Instagram.

I somehow took it as a "sign" that he is trying to move on in his life. I am indeed sad, but because I am actually very happy lately for reasons I do not know of (perhaps I am just tired of being sad I guess), I just let it slide. Plus, the bracelet is his "gift" to me. Meaning to say, once it reaches my hand, I have the right to do whatever I want. Heck, I can choose not to wear it actually. But the bracelet is by far, the most beautiful and expensive (this is as testified by my room mate cause she knows where this person bought it) I had received, I actually cherish it a lot. I am sentimental that way. If I consider you to be very special in my heart, you could give me a rock and I can keep it for the rest of my life.

And when the incident above happens, I was taken aback. It's as if the Universe is telling me, "just let go already. You are indeed happier now without that person. You don't have to remember him anymore."

But the thing is, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have changed my lifestyle. Before this, I can consider myself a sloth. I don't exercise, I cringe upon hearing the word "jogging", let alone run or anything fitness. But because I was angry at him (yes, honestly, that was how I felt when he suddenly disappeared before, the first time, previously), I started to jog. I joined piloxing, an activity is very high intensity (for me, a sloth, okay?) where it consists of a combination of pilates, boxing and dancing. I started to eat healthly (ummmm... more or less. Still need to discipline myself on it though), wholemeal bread over white bread, sugarless drinks, less rice, more fruits. And I noticed, that I am indeed happier because I do all these. If I skipped my jogging session, I feel that my life is not complete. When he see my changes, he told me he did it on "purpose", because he knows it is the only way to make a person as stubborn as I am, to actually change. And I really thank him for that.

So, if you ask me, if I should just let the braclet in that condition, it is like I am denying a part of him where he did make a difference in my life. I am accepting that he might no longer have a place in my life (or vice versa), but I don't want to forget the changes that he influenced me to make me a better person. I am letting him go, but a part of him will stay in life. And for that, I am forever thankful.

Dear you, I hope you will achieve your goals and desires in life. Wherever you may be, I hope you will always be in good health, and I wish you success in life. Perhaps we will see each other again in the near future, perhaps we don't. But know that I will never forget you. Sincerly, B.

posted from Bloggeroid


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