Figuring out life

nowplaying: Chasing Pavements - Adele

I am at this age where I'm "supposedly" have a potential life partner in had,
and I am supposed to plan my wedding and prepare to get married.
Then after the wedding, I am supposed to bear children.
Then after that, take care of my kids.
Then, watch them grow.

However, I am nowhere near figuring that out.
Heck, I am still struggling with what to wear to office tomorrow (because preparing early avoids being late in the morning hahaha).
And I am supposed to figure out about my life partner? 
To have their presence in my life now?

I understand the fear that some parents (or grandparents, for that matter) that when their child (grandchildren) reaches a certain age and they have yet to have a potential partner in their life, 
But sometimes, I feel that some parents do not try to understand their children's position; especially in today's world where everything is overpriced and the value of our money is shrinking. 
How is one expected to build a new life with loans to begin with? 

Personal loan - for a lavish wedding to impress the many people that you don't even know 
(I'm using my culture as an example; not intended to hurt anybody out there); and most of the time they are the relatives that you don't even know. 
Credit cards - to buy the things that you might not need today 

Perhaps that's the reason why we heard of so many cases of divorces in this era.
Because they feel so pressured of their parents' nagging; their grand uncles/aunties *mind you, that you only met ONCE a year, during certain FESTIVE SEASON* question of "When is your turn?" etc.
I have this friend, who got married because she feels that she is getting "old". 
And when she got pregnant, her husband still continues to go clubbing until the wee hours of the morning, just like those days when they were still dating.
Except this time, he goes ALONE
He can't even take a day off just to accompany her for her routine check up.
Instead, he asked, "Is it necessary for you to go check up every few weeks? You're pregnant. So?"
The nerve of that guy. *rolls eyes*

The moment when my father hinted about marriage *do note that he was drunk at the time. So I only take the urgency to act upon it at 50%*, I answered him this:
"Pa, do you think it is easy to find a life partner? It's not like baju, where I can take it when I want it, and leave it when I feel that it no longer serve a purpose for me."
He said I sounded like this particular cousin of mine, who happens to share the same birthday as me (she was born five, six years earlier than me (?) though).
I remember, that before she got married, her younger brother told us cousins that she used to have a checklist of what kind of husband she wants.
Ridiculous checklist like this. REALLY?

Ended up, the guy she is marrying is DEFINITELY the opposite of the one that she wanted. 
Well, as the saying goes, 

I'm not saying that I have ridiculous check list like, 
"He must be 6 feet tall."
"He must be driving a Lancer."
"He must have 6 pack."
and the list goes on and on I do not wanna bore you with details. 

But what is the use of being 6 feet tall if he can't even shelter you with an umbrella when it rains?
What is the use of driving a Lancer if he can't even be punctual for your date?
What is the use of having those 6 pack when he can't even comfort you when you are at your lowest?
Get what I mean?

To me, as long as my future husband respect my parents like how he respect his,
care for my siblings like how he care for his,
adore my grandparents like how he adore his, 
*please take note that this are just the certain things that I have on my mind right now on my potential life partner. And no, this is not a check list that you can just "TICK" the moment I think I found a right guy in my life*
I am happy to have him as my life partner.

Until the time comes, let me just enjoy my single-hood.
Let me just complete some life goals that can only be done while I am still single.
Let me build as many friendships as I can; and KEEP the ones that I think deserve to be kept.
The most important thing:
Let me just GROW to be the kind of person I want to meet.
Once I achieve those, I believe God will send me the right person to be in my life.


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