Reminiscences

I still remember, three years ago, I've searched high and low for answers to so many unanswered questions that I have in my head. 

Questions that sometimes haunt my head for days and nights. 

Until the day I decided to move on, and up until the day I decided to make peace with my hurtful past (mind you, these two things are not necessarily connected. 

You can move on in your life, but it doesn't really mean you have make peace with your past), 

I decided that sometimes some questions are meant to be unanswered. 

However, after some (more like almost every night) heart to heart talk with Lis, 

I can say that I actually find some answers to the unanswered questions that used to bug me for the past few years. 

But despite of all that, I realized that,

even though I only found out of the answer now, I have moved on so far from the thoughts that haunt me. 

Some songs that used to be associated to the pain, when I listened back now (one of it is Part of The List by Ne-yo), the feelings are not there anymore.

Now, they are just songs to me.

I've tried to read my old emails, that used to bring tears in my eyes, now I just feel nothing. 

Numb, nothing. 

It's like it had never affected me at all, when in reality, back then the smallest thing used to hurt me so bad. 

Perhaps that is why people said that, 

"Sometimes, some questions are meant to be unanswered. "

It is to prepare you so that you can move on faster than you actually think you can.

So that you stopped asking the "what ifs ",

Because by asking those "what ifs ",will suck you back to the dark hole that you are trying so hard to move out from. 

Believe me when I say this;

"Some questions should just remained unanswered. 

Only then you will make peace with your heart and your past."