If you want to grow, don’t date someone who is exactly like you.

It’s easy to be seduced by your mirror image—someone who validates your every whim, who agrees with you on every major issue, and who wants to spend every hour of the day just as you do. It’s reassuring to be strikingly similar to another human, but when you choose a mate who’s just like you, you’re destined to remain stagnant.

Don’t date a “yes man” or “yes woman”—the people who laugh their faces off at everything you say, and who follow your lead blindly every day. Date the person you literally can’t stand on occasion because their opinions drive you mad or their way of seeing the world seems incomparable to you. Force yourself to try to see things from their perspective—to learn how their experience of the world has shaped their views and made them harbor whatever beliefs they hold dear.

Urge yourself to consider an alternate reality.

Date someone whose strengths offset your weaknesses, and vice versa. Someone you can admire for being truly accomplished in the areas you struggle in—who’s motivated where you’re lazy, meticulous where you’re sloppy, cool and collected when you’re given to craziness.

This person will round you out.  Together, you will be better. You will enhance each other’s lives, even though you will not always align. You will butt heads, and you will fight. But if you know how to apologize, everything will be fine.

Over time, you will learn to celebrate each other for exactly who you are, including those sometimes irksome differences. You will come to understand that your partner’s flaws aren’t flaws at all. And neither are yours. You are both human and you are both constantly evolving. As a couple, you’ll see that you’re unstoppable—thanks to each other.

Earlier this morning, I had my daily dose of @timothytiah's Dayre and he wrote a letter to himself called #letterto16me . I was so inspired reading his post, and I had always wanted to write a letter to my own self so this is me, joining in the wagon to write a #letterto16me.


Dear Marcella.

So now you are in Form 4, in a science stream class because you achieved straight 7A's for your PMR. Congratulations. And you are currently going strong (sort of) with your boyfriend who is 3 years older

than you. But then, something happened along the way and you two broke up. Well, if I put it harshly, he had to leave you because he made a woman pregnant with his child.

But if you must know, you find yourself a new replacement after that. Not bad for a girl with spectacles and average looking, huh? And you already imagined in the future that you will get married to him, and have a family with him etc. Again, my dear, you are wrong. The only thing you have common with him is that your love

for P.Ramlee movies and that he looks a bit like Awal Ashaari. Your relationship with him too, failed a year later but I tell you what. All these break ups, eventually shape you into the person you are today. I know it was not easy for you to forget him (you were still thinking of him when you were entering into a new relationship with a guy who impacted your life), but you will eventually realized why you are not meant to be with him. And when you do, you would say, "what was I thinking the

whole time when I was with him?" Yes, there are times you actually think about it but eventually you will laugh it off, just like you normally do Hahaha.

Oh. Remember your best friends, (Let's just call them) A and F and AL? you will be surprised to know that they are no longer your go to people anymore. After you turn 21, it was really hard to keep in touch with them, because everyone basically has their own life. You just entered your first year of university, A just finished her studies in

Giatmara while F just started studying again at ICats (because her parents believe that only education can change her life). AL on the other hand, managed to get herself into nursing school and surprise! She got married at the age of 23 and has a baby boy at the age of 24. The reason why I said that they are no longer your go to people anymore is because, they just don't insert the same effort to keep in touch with you, just like how you did to them. You eventually got fed up with just words,

and decided that indeed action speaks louder than words. you will still be friends on this social media call Facebook and Instagram, but that is the closest of the interaction that you have to them rather than you just lost contact just like that. In a way, social media actually do save our lives when it comes to keeping in touch with others.

In terms of education, you dream to go to private college such as Sunway College. You don't care that it actually costs a lot and your parents can't afford it because they are just government servants and you come from a middle income family. Surprisingly, your dream school changes once you finished Form 5 and again during your Form 6 years. Try and Guess where you ended up doing your degree? (In a course that you NEVER dream you would actually do)

That is you, in front of your Alma mater, Universiti Malaysia Sarawak, or famously known as UNIMAS. When you were in your upper 6, you actually said that you don't want to end up there because it's still in your hometown. But look at you, posing in front of your alma mater, proudly.

You graduated with a Bachelor Degree of Finance in Honours. Yes, FINANCE. Something you never had dreamt in a million years that you would do. There are times, especially in your second years, you doubted yourself on why you are chosen to study Finance (of all the people out there). However, you always choose to look at the bright sight of things and believe that this course is just a door that opens up an opportunity that will come in your life. Yes, my dear. You would be very much surprise of

how positive you are as a person, compared to the time when you were in secondary school.

In Unimas as well, you eventually will meet with these group of people whom you will never thought in a million years will play such an important role in your life. One of them is your soul sister, Rachel Rinta, who's standing just next to you on your left. You always believe that soul mates come in the form of another gender. Now, let me tell you a few facts about your soul sister, Rachel Rinta. Rachel is actually one year younger than you. Pure Iban from Betong, has two elder brothers and one

younger sister. The reason why she is your soul sister, a female version of your soul mate is that because, you both have the same frequency in thinking, either if it comes to life, friendship, anything lah. You two, made a really great team when it comes to assignment that whenever you two group up with Lajing and Achis, you two are so dominant as compared to your male counterpart Lol. She is very good at analyzing data, and you are good when it comes to theory and facts. So, when you two

combine, you two created a very strong character of each other. The best part about your friendship? You both can actually finishes each other's sentences (mind you, you never have this when you were in your serious relationships , or have yet to find your male soul mate).and communicate just by using your eyes. Yes, that is how close you are to her. She is also a good listener to you, especially when you just broke up with A, and when you were having roller coaster of emotion when it comes to

this particular guy, Let's just call him "your future husband". And because she loves you so much, she is never afraid to tell you the truth, even though if it hurts you. This is the main reason why you don't go to A, F or AL anymore. Because when you come to them with your emotional problems, they keep on saying all the good things, and not let you see the truth for the fear that you might get hurt.

Wow. My #letterto16me is actually longer than I think hahaha.

In terms of work, you would be very much surprise on what position and where you ended up. This one, I let you discover by yourself because I can't tell you much as I just started this journey. But I can tell you this though. No matter how people around you are trying to push you away from what you are doing, stand on your ground, take baby steps towards success. Give yourself time, because success don't come easily. Just ask your

leader, your mentor, how did success comes to her, and how she defines success. You would be surprise that you really look up to her as a role model, even though she looks like any other aunty that you've seen; very motherly, very friendly. Don't worry. Know that you are in the right team, and believe that you will achieve what you want to achieve (which is leading a group of people and making an impact in people's life), you are already half way there, tasting your own success.

 Oh, before I end this #letterto16me, I want you to know, that, believe it or not, you are 24 years, 9 months and one week old (as of when this picture was taken). You are no where near a relationship (you have been telling yourself that you'll get married at the age of 25 or 26 I don't know who or why you are influenced to think that way hahaha). You do have someone in your mind though, of who you want to spend your life with (clue: future husband. Double Lol). You will not expect that you

actually want him to be in your life. There are a few reasons why you want him to be your husband (Lol omg); I'm not gonna reveal here why though. It is for me to know, and for you to find out.  Because there will be one point in your life (or maybe a few more points, Idk. I hope not. The first one already hurts like hell, and it's even worst than your break up with A. Don't believe, ask your best friend, Hany. ) that you will experience an emotional roller coaster when it comes to him.
But I tell you what. Just keep believing in the law of attraction, and the power of visualization (you will be shock to know that you've actually practiced it long before you know the law existed), and for all you know, you will end up with him. 


Lots of love,
Future Marcella (age 24)