On an unrelated event, I found myself having obsession with this guy. Don't you think guys in suits are yummy? ;)

At first I thought, I was just crushing at you. However, as time passes by, I realized that you are the first person whom I thought in the morning when I wake up. You are also the last person that I think of before I go to bed. And also, if you asked me, how often do I think about you, I would like to say, "everyday. You never left my mind." So yeah, I'm falling for you. You colour my dream every night, you are the reason why I found myself smiling for no apparent reason. But what I didn't know is that, during the four month of your hiatus, you had found someone. Or maybe, that is just a statement that you blurted out to save yourself from the common question from relatives who came to visit you once a year, during festive season. I don't know. Only you know the answer. When I asked for the truth, you told me that even your best friend doesn't know about her. At first I thought, maybe you're just not ready to tell anyone about her yet. But when I think about it, and after talking to my bestie, we concluded that you are not seeing anyone right now. Let's face it: which girl in their right mind would want to be in a relationship where nobody except them know about it? I know a lot of people who are in a relationship; theirs friends know about the relationship, but not what's going on in the relationship. I was in that kind of relationship before. I know. Even Beyonce and Jay-Z is in that kind of relationship. Now what say you mister?

And it was my best friend who told me this,

Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps.

But perhaps, I am living the greatest irony of love.

I know I had lived through the second irony of love, because that was the worst downfall in a relationship that I ever had. I'm just hoping that I don't have to go through the third irony of love because I don't think my poor heart can take it. Enough is enough dear Lord. So basically, right now I am living the first irony of love. How long will this stay? I can't possibly tell. Maybe until the day you became a distant memory perhaps?

Maybe it is too early to say you are the one that got away. I will be turning 22 next week and my journey is still a long way to go. Therefore, I shall surrender everything to God, for He knows best. 

But even if we are not meant to be together, perhaps there is a reason why He asks you to come back into my life after fate seperated us. Though I may not know it now, I will know it someday, I hope.

This post is dedicated to someone who is officially not mine anymore. I can only call you friend, my best friend who knew my ups and down throughout 2011, and the one who consumes my mind throughout the year. I wish nothing but the best for you, and her (whoever she is). 

This happens everytime. Do you even know how pathetic I feel sometimes? Wait, it doesn't happen sometimes, IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME :/.

If you only know how much you meant to me :/.

Now, my only wish is to talk to you all night long. I kinda miss that you know? I have so many things to tell and share with you, though sometimes we ended up bickering. But those bickering are the moments that made me happy. If only you knew. :'(

Love,

Marcy.

Xoxo

Because it seems like whenever I'm getting close to somebody, things happen. And after that, the person I know became the person I knew. I hate that. I do admit I miss him sometimes. I don't know about jealous. And certainly whether this is love. So there. I am confuse. Okay? Mr Chipsmore, don't make me even more confuse okay? You know why? Cause whenever I am happy with you, the dear person whom I love very much then suddenly appears in my mind. I am afraid to be sucked back into the past. But I want to move on. I am moving on. Just that, okay. Idk how to explain all these. Gosh, I hate the state that I am in right now. I think I better stop now before I blab something and I regret doing it afterwards. Kbye.