Weddings

It looked something like this from what I had remembered.

A year later, I was chosen by my aunt to be the flower girl in my cousin's wedding. I was ecstatic, over the moon. It was I think, the first wedding that I get to see the bride walks down the aisle, her father bring her to the groom. And also, the wedding reception was sort of our family gathering, a BIG one to be exact as our relatives from far and near came just for the wedding. Perhaps since then I had these obsessions with weddings. I'd love to see what had the relatives in store during the wedding, what dress they wore on their beautiful day, what car will they use for their ride. But back then, I never quite understand why do people get married. All I know was, a man and a woman exchanging their vows, saying that they will never leave each other no matter how hard the circumstances was. 

In my adolescent years, I learn the meaning of having a crush (more like crushes) and also, boyfriends. I remembered, I have a boyfriend as early as 12 years old! But as the old saying goes, it was only puppy love. In 13, I also had a boyfriend but it only lasted for a month as I had other crushes (Lol). And by 14, I (think) began to experience what they had call 'love'. Somehow, I can picture a beautiful wedding ahead. I began to plan what kind of dress I want to wear on my big day. You may say it was too early for a young 14 year old girl to start planning on a wedding, but you know what, it is a dream for me. 

A dream for me to walk down the aisle, accompanied by my father, where he send me to the love of my life, giving me away to him where I continue the journey of the rest of my life with him. And all my family, relatives and my close friends are there to watch it. 

Exactly how I pictured my wedding will be like.

And at a tender age of 15, I believe that I was one step closer to planning the wedding of my dreams as my grandmother asked me to be the maid of honour for my uncle Joe's wedding. 

Group picca taken at Damai Beach. Yup, we went to Damai Beach to take photographs on their wedding day.

My uncle's wedding was kinda a disaster as the reception was held at Telang Usan Hotel (worst service ever), but other than that, it was really a beautiful wedding. Maybe because I was the maid of honour, that I get to see all the beautiful things during the mass. :) Let's get the fact straight, when I was 9, I know nothing about a ceremonial wedding mass. 

Six years had passed since that wedding, and I am still building my dream to make a beautiful wedding. Boyfriends come and go, and now I am single. However, after my last break up, I speak fonder of love (which I intend to write in the next post) to the effect that I was called "love expert" by my friend. And that, my dear is the essential key to a wedding. It took me that long to realize, or maybe I was just too young to understand the meaning of love at the age of 12. Oh, back to me building my dream on making a beautiful wedding. I've had a made a list of criteria that I think I should emphasize on my wedding planning. Hey, it's not wrong to dream big right? At least when the time comes, I'll know what to do. :)

This is the most important thing that a bride should take into consideration. You may be beautiful, but with a wedding dress that is just unappealing, to me it is a turn off. And the dress doesn't have to be over the top. It just had to be simple, somethings that screams your character and most importantly, gorgeous. Take for example, Grace Kelly's wedding dress. She didn't have to reveal any skin but yet she still look stunning in her wedding dress. 

Another good example is I believe Kate Middleton's wedding dress. The Duchess of Cambridge has made a very wise choice indeed when it comes to her wedding gown. It simply screams elegance. And the best part, she did her own make up which deserves thumbs up as I believe that the bride's make up also play important role. I remember that my grandmother compared uncle Albert's wedding and uncle Joe's wedding, where Aunty Beth's make up was a bit too much but Aunty Cyn's was nicely done. So yes, make up do play an important role. Remember that. 

This dress really suits her body. Another thing to consider while choosing a wedding gown.

And also, another thing that brides-to-be need to take into consideration is that choosing the right style. If you have a lean body, then mermaid cut is definitely not for you. So yeah. Just think about it.

2. Choosing the right venue

If you are a Christian, I suggest that you should do a church wedding. I have a friend of mine who is a Buddhist dating a Christian, and she told me that she wants to do a church wedding (if their courtship last that is). I can't help but to smile at her request for I know how beautiful church weddings are. The atmosphere, the decorations of flowers will make you feel at ease and calms the nerve of a cold feet bride or groom-to-be. 

Just look at this church. It is nicely decorated to fit the big day of a person. However, you must consider as well. If you want it to be a big, joyous occasion, you should held it at the cathedral. I mean, if at the cathedral, you can invite more relatives and friends to join in and celebrate the most joyous day of your life. 

However, if you prefer to share you big day with only your closest relatives and friends, chapel is the best place you should held it. It may not be as grand, but if by being with your closest relatives and friends make you happy, then so be it. Don't let the talk of others back you down. It is your big day.

3. Organize well for the wedding reception

Earlier on, I mentioned about choosing the right venue for a wedding. Next, we move on to the reception. I've been to various kinds of reception. Some are great, some are just meh. Sometimes the food are nice but the service is just, meh. At times, it is the way the reception is done just make the beautiful wedding night turn sour. And being an Iban, as some of the families can't afford to make a reception at a hotel or restaurant, they do their own kampung style reception at their own residence or at their own kampung. Although most people say it is more rami done that way, but that is just not me. Why? Because in a typical Iban wedding there will be alcohols, and alcohols make the world gone mad. There may be joget and stuff, but if it's held at own residence, there will be much chaos. Trust me. 

Typical Iban wedding at the longhouse. Photo courtesy of Google.

Anyways, considering that this is my dream wedding, I would prefer for it to be done at the hotel. At least, guest will be more civilised (I hope). Although things seems to run smoothly, but I've seen some errors here and there regarding about seating plans especially. And some guests even showed up with uninvited guests (which is where the unappealing at all). Hence, to avoid this kind of awkwardness, the wedding invitation should come with an R.S.V.P note. 

After all the R.S.V.P. is done, the next thing in line is to figure out the seating plan. If it was my wedding, I would get the help of my parents (and his parents as well) and maybe my grandparents as well to do it. Perhaps by doing that, everything will turn up okay for the reception.

4. Do not forget your own culture

This is by right the most important thing. To me, at least. Before this, I had dreamt of a beach wedding, which is definitely not my culture. Not even a real Malaysian thing (though I know some Malaysian artists did it). 

There was even one time I actually wanted my wedding reception to have a British hat theme. But then again, who am I kidding? Do I want my family or relatives to wonder around with ridiculous hat? Hell no. 

It may look great on her. Or even Queen Elizabeth. 

But if they were to look like her, then might as well I just died on my wedding day. Hence, I've decided to stick to my Iban (and maybe some) Bidayuh roots. I have considered to take photo with an Iban concept as I really like the Iban Kumang's costume. The beauty of it is just, so wonderful that I have right words to describe it. My own nickname at home is Kumang so by right, I should live it up to my own name.

I have also considered to do my engagement (if I decided to get engage first that is) to be more Iban-ish, where I will wear the costume and my faceless fiance will wear that man's wear. So if you are an Iban, or half Iban, you are applicable to apply to be my boyfriend. Not. Haha. Well, I just let God do his job. But God, he must be Iban, or half Iban okay? Please? ;)

And if there is one thing that cannot be separated from an Iban wedding, it is booze. For real. No booze, no fun. There is one part during the wedding reception which is almost similar to the Chinese yam seng, it is called Oooooohhaaa! in Iban. 

Chinese yam seng. Photo courtesy of Google.

I believe that culture depicts our way of living, in one way or another without us realizing it. Hence, it is very wise to include some elements of our culture into the wedding. I even considered on bringing Iban and Bidayuh traditional dance during the reception, but it all goes down to budgeting. Maybe I should start saving now huh? I also considered on bringing the Iban band Masterpiece to sing in my wedding perhaps, considering they sound real good live (like, seriously. I've watched them live once and boy, I was blown away). But who knows how much do I need to pay them. Lol. Oh wells, another reason to strive harder then. ;p

Wow, that one heck of a post. I hope that you are not bored to death by reading it. Weddings are really beautiful to begin with. It embarks the journey of two hearts that became one in the name of love. But married life is not as rosy as the wedding is as there are many more elements that can determine whether the marriage works or not. It is sad to hear that after a few years of marriage, a couple decided to split up. Marriage doesn't stand on love alone, it needs a lot of work and commitment for it to work, which I intend to write in the next post. Till then.

Love,

Marcy.

Xoxo.