2012.
How should I sum it up?
Emotional. YES.
Happiness. YES.
Sadness. A bit la.
Well, that pretty much sums it up. Though I can say this proudly, I don't think I will make it through this year without the help of not only Hany, but my girls, especially Victoria, Rachel, Elly and Mijot. Without them, I know I will be in that dark place, constantly overthinking of everything. These girls taught me it's okay to feel what I feel, and it's not always my fault when things go wrong.
Sometimes, things go wrong just so we can be stronger when we encounter the same ordeal in the future (although I don't know how many times I will have to crush around until I end up with someone).
Sometimes, people come and go so we learn how to let go when we are supposed to let them go (I'm still in the process of learning this, trust me. It's not easy, but I'm learning).
Sometimes, distance is created so that we know who remembers us, despite how busy we are in our life.
Sometimes, when you pray to God, but your prayer goes unanswered, it does not mean that God won't give you what you want. It means that He has something better in mind, for He knows you deserve better, and not what you think you deserve.
2012 pass me by so fast, there are times (especially towards the last four months of the year) that I couldn't catch my breath. People come and go, and it does break my fragile heart, but I keep on reminding myself that these people, who come and go in my life are serve to give me a lesson, in one way or another. While those who stayed, they are my blessings from God. I believe that, very much. I know for sure that I am weird, and I'm glad that these people are willing to be seen with me doing weird things, sometimes even JOIN me doing weird things. Sometimes they laugh at me, sometimes I laugh at them, but in the end of the day, we laugh at each other's weirdness. And that is why, they are my blessings. Everyday I thank God for these people, but sometimes it seems as if it is not enough and there are times that I wish I could do more, than just giving thanks. But perhaps to God, it is indeed enough. Perhaps this is me, overthinking again.
As I had said before, quotes are my strongest motivator, besides God and my friends as well as family. And I can tell you, these quotes are the quotes that practically sums up my year in 2012:
If you guys notice, all these quotes are quotes from Oprah Winfrey. She is one of the people I look up to, and I can say that her quotes are really based on her life experience. My ex once asked me, "why do you believe so much in what she (Oprah) said? It might not apply to us Asians, let alone Ibans, you know?", but back then I don't have an answer for him. I was so naive, and easily influenced by what people said. Even him. I was easily influenced by him. Don't get me wrong. He taught me a lot of things, opened up my eyes and my mind that the world isn't what it seems. But not everything that he said, is applicable to me. I am not shy to admit that he taught me a lot of things. Why should I?
But now, I am brave to say that (although he might/might not read this but) Oprah is right. She speaks based on her experiences. Perhaps back then, I don't have much experience to back up Oprah's statement. Now I do. And I believe, there are more experience to come, and I still have a long way to go.
So here's to 2012. It has been a great year for me, a WONDERFUL year, if I may say so. Great memories are made, good and bad. I've come to know many people this year, and I come to realize that each of us carries a baggage of worries in us. It's just that some people are great in hiding it. I guess I am one of those people. And you are too. Because nobody knows, behind those beautiful smile, hides 1000 sorrows.
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| Achis' surprise birthday. 10.05.12. |
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| After class photoshoot. Can't remember the date. |
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| Rachel's and Pris' belated birthday surprise. A few days before the mid semester holiday. |
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| Surprise outing. 04.11.12. |
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| Ranchan, Serian. Some time in October. |
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| Magical Wonder Christmas Dinner. 22.12.2012. |
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| After the last paper for semester 4, I think. Haha. |
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| 1Heart-To-Bless Charity Event, with the mobbers. 29.04.2012. |
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| Chef At Home. 12.12.1.2. |
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| After Business Law presentation. And it was a success. :) 17.12.2012. |
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| Victoria's surprise advance birthday. 18.12.2012. |
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| Weekend With Faculty: Malam Beraya. 15.09.2012. With a junior of mine, I call him Liang. Haha. Whud. |
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| Class photoshoot. Somewhere, early March, I think?. |
With a humble heart, I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year 2013. Leave whatever heartaches, happiness, sadness that you had in 2012. If it is a good one, cherish it till your last breath. If it is a bad one, don't let it get into your head and just move on. Close the book of 2012, and start with a clean slate for 2013. Give everyone a chance to change, because you know other people would want you to change for the better. I know I would.
And with that said, I shall bid au revoir to 2012. I don't know where I'll be celebrating my new year's eve, but I'm sure, I will be surrounded by my family. And they are already enough for me. So cheers to 2012 and 2013. May it be a prosperous year for all of us.
With love,
Marcella Helaena Julan.
With love,
Marcella Helaena Julan.
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