Tuhan kirimkanlah aku
Kekasih yg baik hati
Yg mencintai aku
apa adanyaaaa........
While waiting for my hair dye to sink in (is that even the right term? Haha), I listened to songs in Elly's laptop. And I came across this song, Munajat Cinta by The Rock (not to be confused with Dwyane 'The Rock' Johnson). I think I had listened to this song a few years before I had listened to it today, but back then I didn't realized the lyrics maybe because back then I was in a relationship. Now that I had been single for two years (yes, it has been that long. But who am I to complain, because I am not the only one who is single), I admit that I do miss being in a relationship.
The talks after a super long, tiring day.
The cuddles and the kisses (especially forehead kisses. I love those).
The stupid fights, where you fight like bestfriends, and the make ups.
Holding hands.
Waking up to good morning texts, and going to sleep with good night texts.
But above all, I miss the feeling of loving someone, and being love by the same person that I love.
During the new year, something akung (that is how I called my grandpa) said caught me off guard. I shall not reveal it here. It is enough that I (and some of my closest friends) know about it.
The thing is, due to heart break and heart crushes, I'm just tired of expecting. Now I learn (the hard way) that some people came into your life just so you can learn how to let go. And for 2013, this is one of the goals that I aim to accomplish, to learn how to let go of people who do not wish to stay.
Elly and Mijot kept saying, this year will be my year, but I don't know. I learn to trust God even more after what happened last year. A lot has happened last year, and I'm glad that everything had happened. At least I got to learn in my early twenties. Some had to learnt it later than I do, so I am indeed glad. He knows best, for He had made me, before I was even in my mummy's womb. He knows where I'll be, who I will be with. In short, He knows it all. So I may not get what I wanted, but He gave me what I need. Which is even better, trust me.
So whenever they (as in Elly and Mijot) said "it will be your year, don't worry.", or anything related to it, I'll just say "AMEN". Because I trust His timing, and like I said, He knows best. So to people who always tries to move ahead before God's time, here's the thing: no matter how hard you want it, how hard you work for it, if God doesn't think you're ready, you won't get it. But first, God wants you to work for what you want, and he'll give it to you, sooner or later. Perhaps now, God thinks I'm not yet ready for love. Perhaps, He thinks that I'm destined for great things and he wants me to pursue it first. And then, perhaps then, love will come.
EVENTUALLY.
But for now, I am happy with the people who are around me, my closest friends, my family. They made me happy, and I couldn't ask for more. If I am meant to have someone by this year, and if God thinks I'm ready, I will not let it slip away this time. For I trust Him.
God, whatever You want it to be, let it be. Amen.++
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