Picking Up and Sending Off
Let me start this blog post with a common situation where you, you and you there might encounter a few times throughout your life.
"When I look around, I can see either two expressions: happy faces or sad faces. I see parents hugging their sons/daughters who are about to continue their studies outside Kuching, friends crying because their friend is about to depart to somewhere very far and they are not sure when is the next time they are going to see each other, siblings teasing each other to hide the feeling of sadness that they felt deep down, spouses giving hugs before the next time they meet each other. There are always mixed emotions. No matter how much you try to hide it, I can always see it. The atmosphere is just, overwhelming. I know, because I can feel it whenever I am at the airport, in front of the departure hall, sending my dear papa off."
My father, whom I affectionately call Papa, works in KL, the capital of Malaysia for the Examination Department. He started working there since June 2007 and to this date, October 30th 2011, he is still working there. He commutes to and fro KL - Kuching ever since, just to see us, the least is once a month. The most, every month of the week. But that is usually because of his job. Even some of the congregations at church never knew that papa is actually working in KL as not many people know about this. Not all of my friends know this fact too. Only my close friends. Some of my close friends ever asked me, how is it like to live in a single household, when one of your parents is working away from home? It's heart breaking, but I will always answer with a smile and said, "we just live day to day normally. And when he's around, we will try and spend as much time together as possible. (usually it involves going to church together, having lunch/dinner together, a trip to the grandparents house etc.) The most important thing of all, that we understand his job and pray for him as he is far away from home."
I can tell you this. There are times I find all these are tiring because I can see the struggle that mummy has to overcome. Her paycheck barely seems enough to pay the bills, petrol, our phone credits etc. Not only that, my brothers shenanigans drives her up to the wall sometimes. And there's also school work related problem. Teaching in a school with good reputation, every teacher has to work hard in order to maintain it. I can see her grey hair, which used to be very little, now covering the upper part of her hair. Every time she had to dye the hair and as always, yours truly will be the one helping her to do it (if she doesn't go to the saloon that is).
However, I looked at all these as a silver lining in my life. Before this, I was oblivious to my parents relationship because I was self absorb in my own life; thinking that my life has a whole lot bigger problem than theirs. But as time progresses, and being in a serious relationship myself, I am able to see how sweet my parents are whenever they are together. There are times they go out without us children, and even though it may be just for groceries, it can be 2 to 3 hours. And I usually assume that they're indeed going for a date. Funny. Haha. One time, in 2009, papa took mummy out for a special dinner. The occasion, Valentines day. My brother Macson, who is always a busy body asked whether he can come along, and papa simply replied, "no, you can't. This is a date for me and your mummy." I just had to laugh and smile at that fact.
Nevertheless, the sun doesn't shine till the end. Their relationship hit a bump in the road. And I can see it clearly this time, because I was just recovering (and still am, I think) from a massive break up. To see mummy cried for the second time in my whole entire 21 years of living is just, overwhelming. But I don't know what else to do. The only thing I can do was, to pray and hope that everything is going to be alright. There are times that I felt that God has let me down because this year alone, I've gone through a whole lot of ordeal. Break up, parents' problem, not to mentioned my siblings are acting up. I was a ticking time bomb; very afraid to tell anyone about this, afraid of crying in front of anyone, but yet managed to held my head up high so that nobody will think that I am weak.
Now, everything is getting better between my parents. And I am happy because they managed to pull it through. I don't know how they did it, but they just do. Maybe it was for the sake of us children, maybe it was their love that save it. They go for 2 hours grocery shopping again, sit down together watching some random television problem, and even talked over a cup of coffee (okay, more like a mug). It's just so sweet to see them together like that again. And I am hoping that it will stay like that for as long as possible. Mummy is such a strong woman, sometimes I ever wonder if I will ever have her strength. I guess that she is living proof to this quote:
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger,"
Though there are no news as to when papa will transfer back to Kuching, we are still hoping that he will, someday. Hopefully before he retires, he will be back here in Kuching. For the time being, we are a family who are seperated by the South China Sea. But we are one, we are still one, big, not-so-perfect family. I am happy about it, and there is nothing in the world that makes me want to change what I have. Kuching International Airport will always be my second home for the time being, for we are here to pick up and send off papa to KL.
