The problem is, I do not think that whatever feelings that I have for him is infatuation. I know it is not. 

Plus, I am not stupid to hold on to the feelings because I love myself more and I know I deserve better. 

So is it infatuation, or love?

Spanish language, is the sexiest language that ever existed on planet Earth. French may be the language of love, but if there is a sexy language, it is Spanish. Spanish FTW! Anyways, I've been listening to this song for 5 years already, on and off. But the thing about me is, I don't know the title! The most recent I've listened to this song when the girls and I went to look for places for our Industrial Training. Heard it in Zazi (that's the name of Rachel's brother's car btw. Haha) and I asked Rachel what was the title and she said, "it's the lyrics that he'd been saying in the song". Being the bimbo that I am (sometimes, not always), I didn't understand what she said and that night, I tried to Google the song, with the random Spanish words that I thought I heard, but to no avail. So, I just let it be and said, perhaps one day, I'll know the title. 

And that one day was a few days ago. So I downloaded the song straight away and been playing it on the loop since then. In fact, I'm listening to the song now as I am updating this. Told Rachel about this and she said,

This was during one of the concerts of AF, 5/6 years ago. He was still very chubby back then, and I find this very cute, with the belly shake and all. Haha. Fast forward, now Aizat is one of the successful and talented singers in Malaysia, and he shed some weights. And looking very suave. Don't believe me? Click on the next video to see for yourself what I am talking about.

As I am writing this, I am fighting with the inner demons in me to not lose patience about what is happening right now. I believe that everything that is happening is a trial for all of us, an exam given by God to see we learn any lesson from it. I pray that God gives me the wisdom to tackle this problem delicately, as the person I am dealing with is delicate, young, naive. I just hope that this person will understand how I actually feel, what I had actually gone through, because to be honest, I am not sure if I have the strength to deal with this anymore.